


Silence

by AllTrekkedUp



Category: Martin and Lewis
Genre: M/M, Not Sure About Tags For This Because It Is So Unplanned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-16 09:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21268454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTrekkedUp/pseuds/AllTrekkedUp
Summary: These shorts will feature no dialouge just description.





	1. Problems

He is alone and it is early, this is his time of the day. Stepping onto the street the sting of cold air greets him and the sounds of the city fill his ears, like coming into a different world from the room on the second floor, where all is warm and quiet but for his partner's breathing and the occasional snore which Dean loves to hear because it makes him smile. He ponders on how much he feels for that kid as he walks in the direction of a little place where he can get espresso and steel away in a corner and become a part of his surroundings. Smells assault his nose as he goes, not all of them good, but not bad enough to turn his stomach. There are so many people on the move, nobody looks at him, everyone is headed to their nine to five, he thinks that's sad compared to what he and Jerry does, but sometimes it feels like they live on another plane, that slim margin of time between eight and three a.m. with bright lights and and crowds of people in nice clothes. Performing is a drug in itself, if you have done it once, even just for ten minutes, you will always crave it. Dean has come to realize that he craves Jerry too, he struggles with wondering if this is a problem or not.

Stopping to cross the street he looks up at the high rise buildings around him and gives a half smile, boy this sure ain't Stubenville. Concrete under his shoes and faded paint on the road as he crosses, he passes a butcher shop, a little Italian grocery and sees the café just a little ways on. He wonders what it would be like to just live on this street and know these people, to speak Italian all the time like back home. He misses that, his mother tounge, when he sings in it it makes him feel comfortable and at ease, it calms Jerry too, when he's anxious, which is frequent. He turns to go in the café and orders his espresso, in Italian no less, and sits at a table in the corner like he wanted, facing the street. There is an apartment building across the way and he can see him and Jerry living there, he might even try a nine to five to take care of them. He sips his coffee when it comes and realizes he thinks of Jerry over his wife and that is a problem, but a problem he doesn't care to fix.

He smiles thinking how good the espresso is but he would never let the kid have any, God he'd be awake for days! He wonders what else is close because he has to take Jerry something back, because he always does and the kid will be expecting it. Some kind of sweets because he loves sweets more than any broad Dean has ever been with and he loves to watch his eyes light up when he gets a candy bar or a doughnut from Dean. And shit, damn it he needs to try to think of something else! Somebody else, but his brain won't let him, or maybe his heart, and he thinks that might be problem.

He sighs as he looks around the café, there are a few old men drinking like as he, they speak Italian and he loves listening in. They speak of last night's dinner and their grandchildren, a son is out of work again, a daughter is pregnant. The lovely language meets his ear and makes him feel at home, Jerry asked him once if he thought in Italian and he had only laughed, but maybe he did sometimes, not in the language per say but in the lifestyle, in the character. Jerry wants him to teach him some Italian and in exchange he would teach Dean Yiddish. They had started this two weeks ago and were doing well, but if Jerry started speaking Italian that would be a problem, he thinks he wouldn't be able to keep himself in check- it's already hard now. He finished his espresso and sat a moment or two, there was no rush he knew, Jerry wouldn't be awake for another hour yet.

The old men were talking about their assorted health problems now, Dean almost spoke up and told them about his heart problem- a condition known as Jerry Lewis. He knew the problem, very well he knew it, but the solution might prove difficult.


	2. I Love You

Jerry leaves the stage so Dean can do his number, he is sweaty and takes his handkerchief out of his front pocket to wipe his neck and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt he swipes it down his chest. Still catching his breath from the dance number he just did with Dean watching on looking lazy as he leaned on the piano and the crowd laughed at his expression. Jerry wished he could have gotten a good look, because Dean is such a good comic, if only everybody could understand that. 

Jerry stares at his partner just barely backstage, off at stage left, he watches as he takes the microphone in hand and takes a breath. Jerry notes he has no tie on now, his top button is also undone and his Adam's apple is showing and his curls are shining under the stage lights and he breathes out the first words of 'Oh, Marie' in Italian. Jerry feels physically weak and takes a hold of the deep blue velvet curtain trimmed in gold tassels next to him. Dean is so beautiful, standing there singing smoothly, a sheen of sweat on his forehead and neck which he wipes casually with his own handkerchief and smiles at what Jerry knows is a group of girls in the front row sighing and feeling exactly how Jerry feels now listening to his partner sing. The picture of beauty. That's what this was. Jerry was so mesmerized, so taken in, so, so smitten that he had forgotten to breathe like some kind of silly school girl and let his breath out and had to catch it all over again. Jerry blushed even though no one was watching him, but he felt like that his eyes were glazed over like they did when someone you love kisses you passionately. Then suddenly Dean looked at him and he blushed deeper and he couldn't focus his eyes and he nearly tripped and pulled the curtain down off the ceiling with him. Then Dean looks away, slightly bemused and continues to sing, switching to English to finish out the song.

Jerry sighed feeling embarrassed and relieved. But panic struck him when he remembered that Dean looking at him was his cue! He was supposed to go out and do the second half of the song as the Idiot and boy did he sure feel an idiot now. But Dean didn't even let the missed cue faze him, he just kept right on singing, didn't even stop or look alarmed like Jerry might have done. Dean was so good, so professional- the picture of beauty- there was clapping and oh fuck! He was coming this way! Jerry tried to collect his thoughts as Dean got ever closer but he knew he had a deer in the head lights look. Dean just smiled at him and patted his thin shoulder with a strong hand, to cover his obvious gushing and mistakes he fell to the floor as if Dean had been so strong it had been too much for him.

Dean smiled and helped him up, he took him by the shoulders and kissed his cheeks and spoke something in Italian. He had taught Jerry those words, but Jerry looked at him blankly, mouth agape, his brain wasn't processing right now- Italian, Yiddish, English or otherwise. Dean laughed and titled Jerry's chin lightly and kissed him on the mouth before walking back out on stage. Jerry finally got his feet to move to follow Dean, and while he was saying something to make the people laugh and it hit him- 'I love you'. That's what the words meant- 'I love you'. Jerry immediately looked at him and said the same in Yiddish, Dean gave him a funny look and repeated it back in Italian. Yiddish and Italian would have to do until either one of them had the nerve to speak it in English.


	3. Crazy

Jerry loves to watch Dean eat. Other people probably think it's crazy but he likes it, because Dean enjoys eating, he never says as much but Jerry knows. And they are in some restaurant that Jerry doesn't even know the name of or where it is in the city but that the sign said 'Pasta' so they went in. He didn't know what time it was, despite the watch on his wrist, he didn't care, Dean takes a sip of wine and Jerry wonders what time pasta places close because he wouldn't mind staying here until that time. 

Dean offers him the glass since Jerry has nothing in front of him, he didn't order, he's holing out for a malt they can get somewhere on the way back to the hotel. He takes a sip only because Dean's lips have been on the glass and as he swallows he immediately makes a gagging face. He's not much on wine or any other such type drink for that matter, Dean laughs, Jerry grins. This is the sound that makes air go in and out of his lungs and his heart go 'thump-thump' in his chest, he hates to think of life without Dean, what a depressing thing, he had experienced it before and what a cold, lonely existence that was. He is certain that without Dean he would have to take pills to make him live, that's a nasty thought, he shakes his head and re-focuses on Dean eating. But Dean stops and thinks a moment, as if studying over what he wants to say, then in very, very broken Yiddish he asks if Jerry is hungry. 

Jerry beamed. Dean had never tried to speak to him in Yiddish before, even though they had spent many an hour after their shows laying in bed going over it. Jerry feels so proud of him that he practically crawls over the table in order to kiss Dean's nose, Dean laughed again, every other patron of the restaurant looks at them like they are crazy and Jerry really doesn't care what they think. Then Dean says it again. He says 'I love you', but in that broken Yiddish that Jerry is already obsessed with hearing. He knew Dean dare not use Italian in an Italian restaurant, run by Italians to profess his love to another man. Jerry repeats it back to him and tries to keep still, even though he wants to bounce in the booth like a child, run around the entire establishment jumping on tables telling people that Dean loves him. 

They tried to play footsie under the table but end up getting in a kicking match and laughing like two drunks. The manager keeps shooting them dirty looks and Dean asks for the check and Jerry pays for it, it was worth paying for just to watch him and have these moments together. Even if everyone else thinks their crazy.


	4. 30

He could still feel the heat of the water on his skin as he dried off in front of the mirror in the bathroom. He leaned over and cracked the door a little more, he had been in the small space so long he was starting feel panicked, yet he had no desire to leave. Even he had to admit he had been stand offish and moody the past couple of days, he hadn't treated Jerry too well and the kid was as skittish as a new colt whenever he came in a room. He felt bad about that. He guessed it was because his birthday was in the morning, no one knew, he was turning thirty. He sure didn't want the kid to know how old he was getting or to try to make over him because it was his birthday because he hated that kind of thing, big to-dos and parties, especially when they were for him.

He wrapped the towel around him and looked at his face in the mirror, he looked tired and needed to shave. He smirked at the thoughts of how Jerry still didn't shave regular, what a kid, Dean sometimes shaved twice a day just to look sharp for their shows. He startws trying to do something with his wet hair in this small, shitty bathroom. Thirty years of living and what did he have to show for it? A tumultuous marriage wirh kids caught in the middle, a fucking lot of debts, never enough money, sharing a room and a bed with a skinny kid who makes funny faces and weird voices and can twist his body like a rubber band, a load of responsibly. Everybody either wanted something from him, (usually money), or needed him for something. So many people depended on him, and he felt like he was born with people depending on him too, when he was at home it was his bother and parents, when he moved out it was Betty, then kids, and he still had to take care of them with what he could, even though they don't live as husband and wife anymore. But that's okay, he doesn't mind that, that's a man's duty, to take care of his family, especially the kids, he wants the world for them but he is still trying to figure out a way to have it gift wrapped. Now he has a second family on the side, he wouldn't call them a couple, no, they are a family. From time to time Dean is a daddy, a big brother, a lover of the most intimate sort to the kid and Jerry needs him, further he depends on him for just as much as Betty and the kids. And Dean doesn't mind that either, because he loves Jerry, shit he loves him so much he would sell his soul to the devil to keep his two families safe and he almost has a couple of times. The type of devil that rosary beads and prayers can't keep away. 

He turns his head to the crack in the door as he hears a soft sob, he knows it's Jerry because damn does that kid have a lot of feeling in that tall, skinny frame and he is crying because his Paul has been a bully to him lately. Dean feels like scum on the street for that, he sure can cause a lot of people grief, mostly the ones he loves and he hates that it is that way. All this just for the fact that he is turning thirty tomorrow. It's not like Jerry can stop it, only death can do that, and he's got no plans of dying any time soon. He figures the only way he can give his kids the world is if he and Jerry conquer it, and he thinks they are just the two bold bastards to it. He swings the door open all the way and goes out to find Jerry sitting on the side of the bed with his head down, Dean takes his hand and he looks up, Dean smiles and Jerry slowly smiles back, he gets up and they hug. Dean hugs him as tight as he can and suddenly turning thirty doesn't matter so much when Jerry hugs back tighter, holds on longer and rubs his cheek to Dean's.

Dean then realizes what he wants for his birthday. He turns them around and sits and then lays back on the bed with Jerry on top of him, hug turning to kiss and more before morning.


	5. Safe

Jerry was laying on top of Dean, skin on skin, nothing in between. Dean had a strong arm around him to keep him snuggled close even in sleep, Jerry was awake however, and feeling all of this, the arm around him protecting him, the warmth their two bodies generated together, Dean's slow, steady breathing, his heart beat, the hum of life. He thought he knew what love was, he had found it afterall, before he even knew Dean Martin existed, Patti was a swell girl, she loved him when nobody else did. But this, oh this was love. Dean knew how to hold him together when he felt like he was falling apart, he knew how to kiss him, where to touch him, when to say something and when not too. Dean made him feel safe, he protected him, he cared, sometimes he had a hard time showing it but Jerry knew.

He couldn't resist giving Dean a squeeze as he thought about how down he had felt the night before, before they had made up. He didn't know why Dean had been mad at him, he had racked his brain trying to figure out what he had done but couldn't come up with anything. Whatever it was Dean had gotten over it while he was in the bathroom, Jerry had wanted to go in there and be bold and maybe get in the shower with him. But he wasn't that bold, nor had he ever made a move on Dean like that, Dean made all the first moves when they were alone, plus Jerry knew that the bathroom was one of Dean's thinking spots, he had sat on the edge of the bed and cried hoping that Dean would come out and forgive him. He even took up a piece of the thin bed quilt to cover his head and pray about it, and he hadn't prayed in forever, perhaps God still listened to wayward Jews.

Maybe he should do that more often, but then, maybe Dean is the answer to all his prayers, right now he couldn't deny it. He grew melancholy at times, not as much anymore as when he was growing up, curling up on one bed or another in God only knows whose house wishing himself to just disappear if he parents didn't want him and he was a bother to everyone else. Dean could sense when it was coming on and he seemed to always know how to bring him out of it, because he had seen Dean in the same type of condition. He knew Dean wouldn't show that side of himself to just anybody, maybe nobody else but him and he felt honored that he trusted him that much. Jerry had never felt quite settled until he met Dean, never had he been that comfortable in all those aunt's and uncle's houses, never had he felt safe until Dean hugged him for the first time.

At that moment Dean ran the heel of his palm down Jerry spine and caused him to moan unexpectedly. He opened one eye and smiled at him, rubbing Jerry's back again and again, causing Jerry to make all different sorts of noises as he did so. Jerry kissed his mouth and rested his head against Dean's as he got his back rubbed, feeling relaxed and safe from everything. 

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading, commenting and leaving kudos!


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